It's midnight and im ridiculously tired but kind of on a high as well.
This book was excellent, to me it read like a real experience, a real story full of pain, hurt, anguish, anger, resentment, that someone was brave enough to share.
Ani is clearly holding her shit together by her teeth, and not very well. This story portrayed someone suffering from PTSD, hiding from their emotions to keep it together, building a life to hide from her fear that kept coming back to slam her at inconvenient and unusual moments.
Jessica did a fantastic job with creating Ani, the psychological damage she received from everything she had experienced and seen, her need to feel pain but the fear of being hurt, her obsessive need to be a certain way to stop that phantom hurt, but then turning around and facing it anyways, it was truly incredible.
And the surprises just kept coming!!
A brilliant book.
I'm not actually sure why I'm not rating it 5 stars, maybe because some of the subject topics were difficult? maybe because there was victim shame? but i know of it already, I'm highly aware of it as a part of my studies and today's media, but i suppose thinking about it it still came across as a dull surprise, finding out this girl/character isnt that much older than me was a bigger one! maybe its just because i can't see this book ever being something that i re-read, for in love with countless time? for what ever reason I feel that 4.5 stars is the perfect amount.
But I'm am so glad i read this book.
(Big thanks to joan, for pointing it out for our buddy read!)